A Pittsburgh man faces nine felony charges including threatening to use a weapon of mass destruction after he held up a bank this week. What’s so unusual about this story is what he held up the bank with – a sex toy. That’s right, thirty five year old Aaron Stein walked into a branch of PNC Bank in the Pittsburgh suburb of Crafton and told the teller that he had a bomb hidden under his jacket. The teller handed over an undisclosed sum of money, and Stein made his escape in a white Toyota.
Police were quickly on his tail and soon pulled him over. In the trunk of his car they found a garbage bag stuffed with money and, under the passenger seat, Stein’s ‘bomb’. This turned out to be what Crafton Police Chief Mark Sumpter described as ‘a makeshift box he made out of a box, black tape, vibrator and cellphone’. Yep, you read that right. This dumbass had robbed a bank with a sex toy.
The ‘bomb’ was blown up by the bomb squad as a precaution and now this master criminal faces a long stretch inside if he’s found guilty of nine felony charges, including robbery, aggravated assault, threatening to use a weapon of mass destruction and, most embarrassingly, possession of a facsimile weapon of mass destruction.
We can only presume Stein’s prison nickname will be ‘The Dildo Guy’.