chronically online
So deep in internet culture your takes no longer make sense to humans outside it.
Definitions
Describes someone whose brain has been so reshaped by Twitter/TikTok/Tumblr that they treat normal events as ideological battles and apply Discourse logic to real-life situations. The tell: they get mad at a stranger's birthday cake for being problematic. A cousin of 'terminally online' but slightly less terminal — implies the patient could still be saved.
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