gold star
A gay person who has never had heterosexual sex.
Definitions
A gold star lesbian has never had sex with a man; a gold star gay has never had sex with a woman. Born in the US in the 1990s as a defiant clapback — when the world kept saying 'you just haven't met the right man,' calling yourself a gold star meant 'no, I'm SUPER gay.' Used jokingly, sincerely, or as a stereotype.
gold star In A Sentence
Origin & Usage
US LGBTQ slang, 1990s; earliest documented use in a 1995 stand-up bit by comedian Carol Steinel. Now widely criticised as exclusionary toward bi people, trans people and survivors of sexual violence.
People Also Ask
Is 'gold star lesbian' offensive?
Increasingly, yes. Critics say it polices sexuality through a narrow, genital-based lens — excluding bisexual people, erasing trans lesbians and gay men, and stigmatising survivors of sexual assault. Many queer writers now treat it as a 'toxic label' rather than a badge.
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