adjective
General Slang
Vanilla
· adjective · kink
Conventional, non-kinky sex — or a person who isn't into BDSM.
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Definitions
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In kink, 'vanilla' means conventional, non-BDSM sex — and, by extension, a person who isn't into kink at all. It's not an insult by default; it's just the baseline flavour, the default setting. You'll hear it as an adjective ('vanilla sex,' 'a vanilla relationship') and as a noun for the person ('he's vanilla'). Plenty of people are happily vanilla, and plenty of kinksters enjoy vanilla play too. The word only gets a sting when it's used to mean 'boring.'
“We're great in every other way, but he's pretty vanilla and I'm not — we're still figuring out the middle ground.”
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Vanilla In A Sentence
We're great in every other way, but he's pretty vanilla and I'm not — we're still figuring out the middle ground.
Origin & Usage
From vanilla as the 'default'/plain ice-cream flavour, borrowed into kink culture to mean conventional, non-BDSM sexuality.
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