#hospital
59 words tagged “hospital”
Mortality and Morbidity conference — the meeting where the team dissects what went wrong.
Polite-sounding code for a morbidly obese patient.
When the patient's notes have vanished mid-ward-round.
Patient's wet the bed, get the cleanup kit.
The fee a UK doctor pockets for signing a cremation form.
Normal For Norfolk — UK doctors' code for an unusual or inbred-looking patient.
A proctologist.
Cruel hospital shorthand for bedridden elderly dementia patients.
Surgeon's pejorative for an internist.
A patient with endless vague complaints and nothing actually wrong.
Good Looking Mum — the discreet chart note for an attractive mother on the paeds ward.
O-sign plus tongue hanging out — patient is basically done.
Phlebotomists and the lab techs who keep coming for your veins.
An unconscious patient lying with the mouth gaping open in an O — gravely ill.
"Unexplained Beer Injury" — the mystery bruise the drunk patient can't account for.
A patient turning up with a bizarre injury and an even more bizarre story to explain it.
The geriatric ward.
Ordering every test under the sun and hoping one of them lands.
Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy — sarcastic 'plan' for the hopeless case.
Surgical-team nickname for the anaesthetist.
Lights On But Nobody Home — patient who looks awake but isn't really there.
Affectionate hospital nickname for the psychiatry team.
Patient who keeps turning up to A&E like it's a loyalty scheme.
Hospital slang for a motorcycle — a reliable pipeline of fresh organ donors.
A meeting held purely to work out whose fault the disaster was.
A difficult, unrewarding patient.
A consultant waving their hands around while talking utter bollocks.
British medical acronym: Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt.
First-time mum who keeps showing up sure she's in labour. She isn't.
Get Out of My Emergency Room — the old, chronic, hopeless patient ER docs dread.
Shorthand for appendicitis, the appendix, or whipping it out.
Horrendous + -oma — the spectacularly grim case nobody wants.
Mock-Latin diagnosis: "failure to cope."
Good for Parts Only — the patient who's not going to make it but could save several others.
Patient who's back in A&E within days of being discharged.
Shine a penlight in the mouth and the whole head would glow — patient with very little upstairs.
Circling The Drain: a patient who isn't going to make it.
A patient's lost control of their bowels and someone has to clean it up.
An obstetrician — or anyone whose job is catching the kid on the way out.
Manually pumping air into a patient's lungs with a handheld Ambu bag.